I honestly don’t know why I thought this might be a good movie. The small child is absolutely crazy about animals and the big one is crazy about Egypt, and this movie combines the two. So I thought it might be worth watching. But … nope.

  • Bechdel test: Yes, there are at least two female characters, and yes, I think two of them do actually speak to one another. But as to what they actually say, I honestly can’t remember and I cannot bring myself to watch this movie again, to find out what it was.
  • The number of male and female characters: totally out of whack. There are only 3 or 4 female characters (and a cat villain of indeterminate gender) to twelve male.
  • Role and depiction of female characters: this is a male story, no question, and the female characters are bit-players. The most important female character – Rosebud, one of the Treasure Buddy puppies – has no personality other than being a girl. The other pups (all male) have quite distinct characteristics that define them – one is a grubby little guy who hates baths but is a good leader; one is a hippy pup who meditates all the time; one is a chubby dog who can’t get enough to eat. And Rosebud is … a girl. She likes … pink. And shopping. She says things like, ‘Oh My God’, and ‘This is to die for’, while she’s shopping for pink things.
  • Depiction of characters from various racial groups: disrespectful. From the two stupid and untrustworthy Egyptian characters to the two lying, thieving monkeys (who are actually wearing Egyptian clothes and speaking in what I can only assume is an attempt at an Egyptian accent … have you no shame, Treasure Buddies?). Also, great emphasis is put on the fact that the Bedouin tribe eat bugs for dinner. It seems that even the good Arabs are dodgy.
  • Open-mindedness rating: Shut as tight as a tomb-door. Whereas Totoro got my children interested in Japanese culture, this film just shuts down any interest in anything. The cultural takeout from the movie is that Egyptians are silly, they steal things and they eat bugs.
  • Also, can I just mention, it appears that in one scene the main character’s grandfather, who is an archeologist, is actually intending to dynamite an ancient tomb door open. WTF?
  • Gentleness rating: yes, fine. It’s not scary or cruel. But it’s a horrible pile of crap in every other way.

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